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Additionally, women who engage in this mutualistic sex talk even report higher sexual functioning. It’s explicit and naughty and sexually charged—which, no matter how progressive we’ve become, are things the remnants of our puritanical society have told us to suppress. Thus, some people may be keen to explore it but come out drawing a blank when it is time to implement it. This is more likely if you have limited experience or knowledge in the practice. I was inspired to write in by a recent question about aftercare. I am pretty vanilla, but I relate to the previous question asker’s distaste for cuddling, especially after sex.

Overcoming Challenges and Awkward Moments

Erotic language provides a multifaceted sexual experience that penetrates beyond physical touch by stimulating our minds. Something about dirty talk just makes me feel embarrassed. I know I can’t be the only woman who feels this way. I don’t think I’m repressed sexually nor do I judge others for what they enjoy doing in the privacy of their own space. I wouldn’t exactly describe myself as a prude — not by any means.

Sexy phrases

Plus, those clips don’t leave much (if anything) to the imagination. Porn is an obvious place to hunt for inspiration for examples of how to talk dirty, though Dr. Jansen suggests looking in the ethical porn or feminist porn category to ensure that it’s mutually respectful. Some of the best inspiration for dirty talk during sex can also be pulled from erotic fiction. Plus, as both Manta and Dr. Jansen mentioned, you can always find your way into sex forums and dating apps. Role play might make it easier for you to try out dirty talk if it’s something out of your comfort zone. That way you can practice dirty talk phrases and test the waters of how kinky and sexy the two of you can get in the bedroom.

If he doesn’t want to have sex in the first place, that’s a much more complicated issue, in many ways beyond what you’re capable of willing a resolution for. That he’s tried meds implies at least some degree of desire—whether he wants to have sex, wants to want to have sex, wants to please you, or something else is unclear from your letter. However, PDE5 inhibitors are vasodilators, not libido boosters. They work on his dick not his mind, so if his head isn’t in it, you’re not going to see much movement. The idea of talking obscenities during sex doesn’t turn everyone on, however, it doesn’t have to be all rude and nasty.

• You could pretend your partner is a police officer who would rather have sex with you than give you the speeding ticket you deserve.
• Take control by giving them instructions on exactly what feels good for you.
• It’s no secret that dirty talk is a really sexy thing.
• As you penetrate her, grab her and claw her, and say something dirty and sexy about each body part of hers that you touch with your hands.
• This article is actually Chapter 3 of the Dirty Talking Guide.

“Try talking really slowly and sensually, whispering naughty words into your partner’s ear, and accentuating words like ‘hard,’ ‘wet,’ and ‘lips.’ That will really get your partner going! There’s a science to why sexually explicit lines—while often petrifying to deliver—can be so seductive on the receiving end. When you hear erotic language, it excites the brain while your body is simultaneously getting stimulated. After all, the brain is the mightiest sex organ in the body, playing a critical role in creating sex drive and sexual pleasure.

• This one stage is where dirty talking is the most powerful.
• It is commonly a part of foreplay, and can include vivid erotic descriptions, sexual humor, sexual commands and rude words.
• Sex is vulnerable and often has all our insecurities flaring up at once.
• So if you’re thinking, “Ohmygod, you’re absolutely gorgeous, and I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to be here naked with you,” say it.
• “Pick a sexy activity you already both like to do, for example oral sex or using vibrators, and give or take direction with simple words like faster/slower or harder/softer,” she says.

While the last stage is the most powerful in terms of impact, this stage is certainly the most fun. Because when you’re in the heat of the moment, you’re totally free to push the envelope on just how dirty and intense you can get. Join 20,000+ people and get regular relationship-improving wisdom straight to your email inbox by clicking here.

If you say the wrong words or talking too dirty just feels cheesy to you, laugh it off and keep going,” Drake says. If you don’t even know where to start, sexting is amazing practice. Why not start the conversation long before you guys even have sex?

While talking about what you want to do, what you plan on doing, or how you’re feeling in the moment, you and your partner can get a better sense of where the boundaries are and make sure you’re on the same page. If you want to jump straight to these dirty talking ideas and lines, click here. This article is actually Chapter 3 of the Dirty Talking Guide. In Chapter 1, we discussed why talking dirty to your man is so powerful…It builds sexual tension which is vital if your relationship has become a bit stale. Finally, it keeps you man thinking about you when you’re not around. However, rendering a partner uncomfortable via dirty talk isn’t the end of the world.